Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Momma's Education

My job requires that I complete a certain number of education hours each year. As with most things, the classes available are typically not offered on off hours. Because of this, I am not a regular at such classes. This morning was an exception.

Aunt Kiki agreed to spend the night and watch the kids this morning, providing the chance for me to attend a class. I made no mention of my plans as the kids went to bed - they would have been bouncing off the walls for hours.

As I was getting ready, Diva had a few questions:
Diva: "Where are you going?"
Mommy: "I have to go to school."
Diva: "Where is your school?"
Mommy: "At my hospital. Even Mommy has to go to school sometimes."
Diva: "What do you do at your school?"
Mommy: "Learn how to take care of the babies."
Diva: "But you know how to take care of the babies."
Mommy: "Yeah, but I still have to go to school sometimes."
*very serious look on Diva's face, really concentrating on this one*
Diva: "Do you not do a good job taking care of the babies?"
Mommy: "Um, well ... I try to ..."


Nothing like a five-year-old to provide a well-placed blow to the ego!

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Dinner with Diva

Once upon a time, I was new to this whole "Mommy" thing. I was often surprised by what my kids could do and how great the level of embarassment could be. Times have changed - it takes alot these days.

So, rewind a few years:
We live in a relatively small town, in a dry county. As a result of this, non-fastfood dining options are severely lacking. Not long after Little Man arrived in our lives, a new restaurant opened - nothing fancy, but new and different. It was decided that I would venture out with two small children to have dinner with my sisters and mother at said restaurant. *It should be noted at this point that I was attempting to potty train Diva at the time.*

Upon arrival, we were seated at a table in the main walkway of the restaurant - we were in plain view of anyone entering. Things went smoothly for awhile, but Diva got restless and decided to sit in Kiki's lap. Shortly thereafter, Diva announced she needed to pee. As anyone that has potty trained knows, once the announcement is made you have approximately 10 seconds to act. I was holding Little Man and missed that vital window.
Diva jumped down from Kiki's lap, stood at the end of the table and a puddle began to form. Now this would have been bad enough, but remember our location in the restaurant ... Realizing her clothes were wet, my beautiful baby girl calmly stood there and removed all of her clothing from the waist down.

How do you respond to that? Naked ... in the middle of the restaurant ... a crowded new restaurant at the height of the dinner rush. I did the only thing I could at that point - smiled, scooped up my naked child (and her clothes) and made a frantic search for the bathroom.

Just when it couldn't possibly get worse, the door to the bathroom opened ... and there stood my sister, with a very large wet spot on her leg!
So, crowded restaurant ... naked child ... puddle on the floor ... pee on my sister ...

Check, please!!!