Boogie Monster - Circa 2010

My children watch too much television. I admit this, am not particularly happy about it, and have thus far done nothing to change it. In light of a recent conversation, I just might have to change my stance. It was not about the brain cells lost by watching television, the lack of creativity because of it or the link to an increased risk of obesity and ADHD. It was about ... booger people.

Wanting to fit in with their peers, my kids have been sporting snotty noses for the past several weeks. I am fighting a loosing battle against snot in inappropriate places - sleeves, couches, my clothes, etc. After observing the offending material being placed on the furniture, I pulled Miss E aside for a discussion.

Our conversation went something like this:
Me: "Don't wipe boogers on the couch. Go get a tissue."
E: "Why?" (with finger firmly planted in nare)
Me: "Get your finger out of your nose! That's just gross!"
E: "But Momma, I have booger people in my nose. They are having a party."
Me: "What?"
E: "I have booger people. I trying to get them out."

Anyone else familiar with the Mucinex commericals? Clearly my four-year-old has a decent grasp of the concept.

Time Out ... Mommy Style

Help, I have a Diva ... and she's out of control!

Time out is a regular occurance in our home. Some days we stop there before making it to breakfast in the morning. If we can get through the morning without a visit, there is cause for celebration ... or the feeling that something must be horribly wrong with my Diva.

The rules are really quite simple:

• You must actually sit up in time out and remain in one spot.
• Your time begins when you are sitting quietly.
• If you begin screaming, your time will start over.
• After the timer goes off, you must go to the person that put you there and talk about why you ended up in time out.

Recently, Diva was on her way to that all to familiar place. As is usually the case, she felt the need to throw a fit and take off her clothes (not sure why those always seem to go together) before settling into time out. I reminded her of the rules and laid down on the couch to wait out the screaming.

Fastforward about an hour ...
I realize, looking at the clock, apparently I had fallen asleep. The house is remarkably intact, there is no screaming and I can hear both kids playing ... all good signs after an unintentional nap!

At this point, Diva (still sans clothes) comes up to me and says:
"Mommy I got out of time out when you were asleep."

Yeah, I got nothing!!! If Mommy falls asleep before you can make it to rule #2, it is kind of hard to continue on to #3 and #4.

Learning Your Place

In an effort to avoid two kids in diapers, I have begun an all-out campaign to potty train Little Man before our new arrival comes this spring. This has been done with much hesitation, as Diva took the better part of a year to master this task (no doubt, due in part to a particularly strong stubborn streak).

Hoping to shorten the time required this trip, there have been some changes to the process. We picked a day to start and began the countdown several days before. When the big day finally arrived, all diapers were removed from view and Little Man was told "Big boys don't wear diapers, they put pee-pee in the potty." Taking a cue from what worked with Diva, I then stripped him down and said pull-ups were only to be used outside of the house and at bedtime. That first day was a dream: no accidents, taking himself to the potty and a dry pull-up after a four hour outing.

That was the first day ... not to be confused with the second day.
Early the second morning, we were snuggled up on the couch watching cartoons. Pajamas for me and Little Man in his birthday suit. As a side note, this is the newest couch in the house that sits on a room-sized pottery barn rug ... you know that can't possibly end well!
Cozy on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket ... then the realization of something warm and wet on me. It takes a moment for it all to sink in. The still peeing child is tossed off of me and onto the rug (because it would be way too easy to just let him finish and then change my clothes!)

While cleaning up the mess (him, me, couch and rug), he discovers that the beloved geen bainket had been hit. Hysteria ensues. Big tears. "I pee-pee geen bainket." "Geen bainket nasty." Anger gives way to feeling sorry for my little guy. After being assured that geen bainket can be fixed, he begins to calm down.

I take this moment to do a bit of potty training reinforcement:
Me: "Where to big boys pee-pee?"
Little Man: "In da potty"
Me: "Where did you pee-pee?"
Little Man: "On Mommy"
Me: "Why did you pee-pee on Mommy?"
Little Man: "Because" with no hint of remorse
Me: "Do you think Mommy likes for you the pee-pee on her?"
Little Man: "Yeah" with a great big smile

It now occurs to me, he was absolutely crushed at the thought of peeing on his blanket, yet doing the same thing to Mommy made him smile.

No longer feeling sorry for him!!!!