Dear Santa ...

Tis the season ...
Screaming, crying, clinging to your mother or breaking free and making a run for it. Worse than any slasher movie, roller coaster or natural disaster ever imagined. The dreaded SANTA VISIT!

Our last picture with Santa was two years ago. An adorable picture of my kids ... and their tonsils. Last year we were all big talk, until we were next in line. Then it just fell apart. I was parked in what seemed like the next town. It must have taken hours to drag the traumatized children out of the mall. I am sure someone along the way considered calling CPS on me ... or offering a stiff drink.

I was prepared this year. Reinforcements were recruited, bribes were given and an escape route was planned in hopes of avoiding a scene when the inevitable happened. Screaming and crying I was prepared for, but that was not what I was given ...

As we were next in line, it went something like this:
Little Man: "My booty's stretching."
Me: "What, I didn't hear you?"
Little Man: "My booty's stretching. I need go poo poo!"
Me: "You are going to have to wait!"
Little Man: "But, my booty's stretching!" *now sitting in the floor, holding his bottom with both hands*
"I NEED TO POO POO!" *and now the entire mall knows*

Um, uh ...
You sure you don't want to just throw a big screaming fit?

Oh the Power!

I am very lucky when it comes to work. I only work two days a week and my hours spent away from home occur when the kids are (or should be) sleeping. This affords me the luxury of missing very little in the way of birthday parties, dance recitals, etc. Generally, the only thing missed is a little sleep on my part. As an added bonus, I sometimes return home with donuts for breakfast the next morning. Because of this, there are rarely complaints when I leave for work.
Recently, we had an exception ...

Diva: "What are you doing?"
Me: "Mommy has to work tonight."
Diva: "I want you to stay home. You don't have to go to work. Someone else can take care of the babies."
Me: "Mommy is the boss tonight." *attempting to sound important and irreplaceable*
"I have to go to work and make sure that all of the babies are taken care of."
Diva: "I want you to stay home." *insert dramatic sigh here*
"You aren't the boss of the whole world!"

Indeed
Nothing like the honesty of a five-year-old to put it all in perspective for you ...