Anyone with kids nows this much to be true: anything is possible when kids are put in the mix. They will say and/or do anything and never miss a beat. We, however, are left scrambling to recover graciously. Sometimes we succeed ... sometimes not so much.
We recently ventured out for an evening of fine dining - I believe it was Hamburger House, as the Ackdonald's playground had a broken A/C. The rules are simple. In order to play, you must first eat. There is no bargaining, no exceptions are made.
On this day, things were going smoothly ... way too smoothly. It was bound to happen, it was just a matter of time.
The conversation:
Me: "Little Man turn around and sit on your booty."
Little Man: "I can't"
Me: "Sit down and finish eating or you don't get to play."
Little Man: "I can't. My booty's stretching."
*I chose to ignore this, hoping that no one had understood him*
Me: "Sit down now!"
*At this point, he was standing up, voice increasing in volume with every word*
Little Man: "I can't my booty's stretching! I NEED TO GO POO-POO!"
Sweet! Anyone care to guess how long it takes to pack up three kids and find the door?
I bet it's not nearly as long as you think!
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
But She Has Bandaids ...
I received the dreaded phone call a few days ago:
"Mrs. K, this is the school nurse"
I cut her off before she could say anything else
"What's wrong with Diva? What happened?"
I was assured that she had simply taken a tumble and had a small bump on the head (of course she did, we had pictures scheduled for the next day!). It was nothing to worry about, no need to come get her ... she just wanted me to be aware of what had happened. Several years ago, I would have rushed to the school and then straight to the ER and demanded an MRI ... but that was several years ago. Instead, I did what a woman with three kids does ... calmly finished my lunch date with a friend and ran some errands.
When I picked her up that afternoon, our conversation went something like this:
Momma: "Diva, what happened to your head?"
Diva: "I fell when the kids pushed me."
Momma: "Why did they push you?"
Diva: "I don't know. I went to the school nurse. She has stickers and bandaids!"
Momma: "Was she nice to you?"
Diva: "Yeah"
Momma: "Did you know that's what Mommy does when she takes care of the babies? Mommy is a nurse."
Diva: "But she has stickers and bandaids!"
So after four years of nursing school and eight years of critical care experience ... the school nurse is cooler than me because she has stickers and bandaids? Clearly we have our priorities, and they come in the form of stickers and bandaids. Nice!!!
"Mrs. K, this is the school nurse"
I cut her off before she could say anything else
"What's wrong with Diva? What happened?"
I was assured that she had simply taken a tumble and had a small bump on the head (of course she did, we had pictures scheduled for the next day!). It was nothing to worry about, no need to come get her ... she just wanted me to be aware of what had happened. Several years ago, I would have rushed to the school and then straight to the ER and demanded an MRI ... but that was several years ago. Instead, I did what a woman with three kids does ... calmly finished my lunch date with a friend and ran some errands.
When I picked her up that afternoon, our conversation went something like this:
Momma: "Diva, what happened to your head?"
Diva: "I fell when the kids pushed me."
Momma: "Why did they push you?"
Diva: "I don't know. I went to the school nurse. She has stickers and bandaids!"
Momma: "Was she nice to you?"
Diva: "Yeah"
Momma: "Did you know that's what Mommy does when she takes care of the babies? Mommy is a nurse."
Diva: "But she has stickers and bandaids!"
So after four years of nursing school and eight years of critical care experience ... the school nurse is cooler than me because she has stickers and bandaids? Clearly we have our priorities, and they come in the form of stickers and bandaids. Nice!!!
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